Bar Scene
by the-vampire-act
Summary: ONESHOT. Reid comes up with a very.........unique distraction. Warning: not for young, sensitive, or innocent readers. Please R&R!


Bar Scene

"............................the evil voices inside my head old me to write this. Please R&R!"

The case had gone from bad to worse. The BAU team from Quantico had in fact found the UnSub- but in the worst possible place..........an open-mic bar in the middle of happy-hour. And in a town like they were presently in, drinking involved HUGE gatherings of people. There were too many people to risk trying to shoot the UnSub, so they had to get creative. Unfortunately, Spencer Reid was just a little too good at that.

"Damn." he muttered under his breath. Unfortunately, the team had heard him.

"What is it, Reid?" Morgan asked. Reid rolled his eyes, and looked at Hotch.

"I know what we have to do." Hotch raised his eyebrows.

"What?" Hotch asked.

"We have to create a distraction." Morgan and Hotch were still looking confused, so Reid explained more. "JJ and Prentiss are with Rossi surrounding the bar right now. If we can create a distraction, we can get the UnSub out of the bar, and arrest him without the chaos of doing it in a crowded bar full of drunks." Reid explained.

"Alright Pretty Boy, what do you have in mind?" Morgan asked. Reid sighed,and let a deep breath.

"Well, this would be easier if we had Prentiss or JJ in here. But since we can't get either of them in without causing a scene, we'll have to make do." Reid said.

"What are you planning?" Hotch asked- curious about what was making his youngest agent so uncomfortable.

"Morgan, can you call the others and tell them to come in quietly to take the UnSub?"

"Sure,kid. Just tell me when."

"Trust me- you'll know when." Reid mumbled.

"I will?" Morgan asked. Reid nodded.

"I'm not sure how long it'll take, so I can't give you an exact time." Morgan nodded.

Reid turned his attention to Hotch. "Follow my lead." he instructed quietly as he lead his boss towards a large group of people. He let Hotch's arms go, and put a frantic look on his face.

"Are you breaking up with me?!" Reid squealed. Hotch did everything in his power not to burst out laughing, and against all odds, managed to look sincerely at Reid.

"It's not you, it's me." he said. 'The oldest excuse in the book.' Hotch thought.

"I can change, Aaron! Oh gosh how I can change!"

"No. there' nothing I you can do that ca change my mind-" Reid cut him off.

"Oh! This is worse than the time I accidentally matched plum pink with scarlet blue!" Reid exclaimed- using his hand as a fan and putting his other one on his hip.

"Spencer, I just can't be with you anymore." Hotch said- trying twice as hard not to laugh.

"WHY?! Is it because I'm too pushy?! Or is this about sex?" with that, EVERYONE at the bar stared at them- their whole attention diverted.

Morgan smiled- taking this as his cue. "Damn Reid, I always knew you had it in you." he thought with a wry smile. He picked up his phone, and called the rest of the team.

"Yes. I admit it- it's about sex." Hotch answered. He went along with Reid's plan- knowing this topic would be the most distracting to the bar-goers.

"OH I JUST KNEW IT! I SWEAR AARON! I"LL BE MORE AGGRESSIVE IF YOU WANT ME TOO!" Reid screamed-loud enough for Prentiss, Rossi, and JJ to hear.

"No, Spencer, it's not THAT, it's just...........well........." Hotch shrugged.

"Just what, Aaron? You can tell me." Reid said just as the rest of the team came in. Hotch put his hand on Reid's cheek and looked at him with sympathy.

"You're not involved enough when we make love." In the back of Reid's mind, he was laughing. But he had to sell the act, so he slapped away Hotch's hand, put his hands on his hips, and pouted.

"I thought you liked it that way."

As Prentiss, JJ, and Rossi pulled the UnSub out quietly- muffling his mouth with Rossi's hand, they all tried to stop laughing, but couldn't stop the smiling from forming on their faces.

"No sweetie, I don't. But that's just how you are, and I can't accept that." Hotch answered.

"But............why?!" Reid's bottom lip quivered. "But you're MY wild zebra!"

"No, I'm not any more. And you're not my bouncy kangaroo, either." Hotch and Reid both repressed a smile from forming on their faces.

"FINE! JUST LEAVE! I'LL FIND SOMEONE ELSE WHO ACTUALLY APPREICIATES ALL THE WONDERFUL THINGS I HAVE TO OFFER!" Reid squealed- even managing to fake a few tears.

"And I hope you do. Goodbye Spencer." With that, Hotch walked out the door. Spencer Reid let his hair far on his face, and pouted. He put his arms over chest and didn't move an inch. Suddenly, he felt someone VERY close behind him, and a hand on his shoulder.

"Hey, I can appreciate you. You wanna go home with me and forget about Aaron." Reid looked up at the man with wide eyes. He took out his badge, and showed it to him. "I'm not gay." With that, he darted out the door.

Morgan and the rest of the team waited for him with a hand-cuffed criminal at their side. "Good plan, Pretty Boy." Morgan teased. Reid rolled his eyes, and the team headed back to the SUVs. Before Morgan and Reid got in, Morgan said, " Do you want to come home with me and forget about Aaron?" Reid glared at Morgan, then said, "You'd enjoy it too much." With that, the BAU drove off- teasing Reid all the while...........

".......................hehe. The voices are evil! Please R&R!"


End file.
